Politics

Dear Donald Trump: Consider The Sirens Rise For Your Fake News Awards

Donald Trump

Dear Donald Trump,

Here at The Sirens Rise, we couldn’t help but hear about the Most Dishonest and Corrupt Media Awards of the Year you are going to hand out on Monday. I mean, you did make sure to tweet it in all caps and even left us with a cute little “stay tuned” to ensure we were aware that you were actually going to follow through on this statement, unlike approximately 97.6% of others you make. But that’s our Donald Trump, subtle to the core.

I have to admit, as someone who started her professional writing career with the phrase “notable asshole Donald Trump”, I was pretty excited to see who would win in the “various categories” you mentioned. Clearly, some of my favorite journalists and comedians would achieve at least an honor or two, but which ones?! Given your affinity for nicknames and your relatively unimaginative mind, I am positive each and every winner will be a complete and utter surprise to us all. Who will win the “failing newspaper” category? Your feelings on the topic are a mystery to us all.

Donald Trump
Twitter/Full Frontal

As I wondered which categories you would have, and who the winners would be, a thought occurred to me. Why not promote The Sirens Rise as a contender for one of your Most Dishonest and Corrupt Media Awards of the Year (and not just for the awesome perks that come with winning one of these coveted awards)?! I know our competition is fierce, and we cannot afford to rent billboards in Times Square or take out ads in the New York Times like some of our big budget peers, but that shouldn’t rule us out. After all, you’re the president who was finally going to do something for the little guy, who was going to help promote small businesses, and who prefers smaller, less nationally recognized outlets to the mainstream media. It would be quite hypocritical of you to not consider us simply because of our size. You of all people know that it isn’t the size of your hands, it’s what they can create (or the rights they try to take away) that matters. Likewise, it should be the size of our operation that counts, but instead the words we write (encouraging our readers to join us in standing up for our rights) that matters.

Donald Trump
Twitter/Late Show

We may not have focused on each and every one of your Twitter rants so petty high school seniors everywhere take notes, or each one of your truly textbook narcissistic comments, but we have written about the impact your presidency has had on us all. A lot:

  • We wrote about how relationships with the Trump voters in our lives have become irrevocably damaged. We talked about how the loss of these relationships was not due to their specific votes, but the mentality behind voting for a narcissistic despot-wannabe who ran his campaign on racism and misogyny.
  • We tried to understand and break down the response of the evangelical right to you  – someone no evangelical should ever, in theory, support. Not that it matters, but do you even know what a church looks like when it isn’t dressed up for a wedding? It is baffling that you were able to capture their ears, and we had to explore why.
  • Early on we understood with clarity the emotionally draining and detrimental effect your presidency would have on us all, and gave our readers a list of self-care tips to help them stay mentally well. In the months that followed, I know I found myself turning to that list with increasing frequency. It’s hard to describe the new type of anxiety that arises when one world leader calls another one names on Twitter, the effect of which could be thermonuclear war. Self-care is truly the only way to cope.
  • We wrote about Ana Navarro, the anti-Trump of the GOP, who we hoped could save the Republican party from your destructive antics. You see, it isn’t your party we hate. In fact, many of us do respect certain members of the GOP. It’s you and your henchfolk. None of us necessarily want to see the GOP implode. Instead, we rely on Republicans like strategist Ana Navarro to fight hard, garner support, and prevent you from completely destroying the country.

In addition:

Donald Trump
Buzzfeed
  • We also wrote about Elizabeth Warren, another woman in government we turn to for hope – who continues to fight against your administration, your unqualified choices to fill certain administrative and political roles, and your hateful, fear-mongering rhetoric.
  • Feeling uneasy by your presidential win even months after the election, we tried to sort out our feelings by writing about how unnerving the idea of your administration felt. We talked about the contrast in leadership, and how we were worried about the policies you’d enact and the greater effect you’d have on the country, and the globe. As it turns out, many of our fears were justified.
  • We talked about why people do not want to follow you on Twitter, and how many people were pissed when Twitter decided their accounts should follow you regardless. (Of course, we have come to know that following your Twitter account is the best way to ensure your worries about the end of the world being imminent are well-founded).
  • We talked about rage – they kind you can only feel when an abusive, narcissistic toddler in a grown-up suit wins the highest office in the United States. That type of rage cannot be simply dismissed or diminished simply because someone tells you so. It’s the kind of rage that builds because of increasing frustration with the current state of the world, a direct result of your so-called presidential behavior.
  • We also covered moments of activism that stood out as beacons of hope in 2017, helping us all believe that change (and your removal from office) can happen. It’s important to have hope. Rebellions are built on hope. We wanted to make sure that our readers began 2018 with the hope that we can continue to rise up and make a positive change. You know, the exact opposite of what you are doing.

Wait, there’s more!

Donald Trump
Wired
  • We talked extensively about the historic and record-breaking women’s marches that happened across the globe, with many women coming out for the first time to specifically protest you. We encouraged our readers (who had the means to do so) to participate in A Day Without Women, gave our readers 100 actions they could take against you or your policies in the 100 days following those marches, and on day 100, talked about the very real threat of climate change. Oh yeah, this reminds me, we know that climate change is real, and that it is a force with a greater destructive power than even you. Perhaps this is why you don’t want to believe it’s real, because it is something that could devastate more lives than you could ever dream of doing?
  • Civil rights organizations became increasingly important throughout your presidency, and often had to stretch already limited funding even further to continue to fight against your policies. To help these organizations keep your anti-American policies out of the country, we gave our readers a list of organizations they could donate to, on Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year.
  • Civil disobedience is not limited to one generation, and must be taught to others if we are to avoid future presidents who share your viewpoints, limited intelligence, limited willingness to acquire new skills or knowledge, narcissism, arrogance, and the danger you pose not only to the country, but to the world at large. As such, we made sure to tell our readers the importance of teaching civil disobedience to their children.
  • To paraphrase the late, great Carrie Fisher (who I am 100% positive is somewhere giving you a giant Force Finger), if things aren’t funny, they’re just tragic, and tragedy is unacceptable. In that light, we tried to shed some humor on the dark topic that is your presidency, by helping our readers find the best vibrators to use to achieve some measure of bliss before reality sets in and they remember you are president, and talked about your rescindment of Obama-era protections for trans students by letting you and other GOP members know who women truly need protection from in bathrooms and in private spaces (spoiler: it involves literal clowns and members of your very own party – and you!)

Our team of editors, writers, and developers identify as, or have numerous qualities, you have consistently and automatically deemed fake, dishonest, or corrupt, including:

  • We all identify as women
  • Our politics are left-leaning
  • Many of us are from minority communities
  • None of us are wealthy enough to benefit from your tax bill
  • All of the Sirens believe in climate change
  • We dream of equality for all
  • We know that Obama’s inauguration was WAY bigger than yours

In conclusion, please consider The Sirens Rise, a small yet fierce operation of women dedicated to empowering one another, living our true lives, and achieving equality, as a contender for one of the various categories in your Most Dishonest and Corrupt Media Awards of the Year. While I’m sure you can come up with a perfect category for the “Sobbin’ Sirens” on your own, in the event that you are running out of time, may we suggest something akin to “Best Lady Snowflakes” or “Biggest Feminist Buzzkills?”

Yours most truly,

The Sirens Rise

Best of luck to all our competition. It’s been an honor to consider ourselves among your ranks.

Ashley is a freelance writer and office manager, who enjoys reading, crafting, and archery. She collects comic books, stationary, and empty journals that for some reason never see a pen. Ashley spends her free time enjoying bright lights in the dark, counting down the months until new Doctor Who, and watching Daily Show alumni on late night TV

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