Studies show that a really great orgasm is one of the best ways to deal with stress. And if there is one thing we can all pretty much collectively agree on, it’s that things feel pretty damned stressful lately. So stressful that it can be pretty hard to get in the mood after spending a long day reading the news. However, you might have a chance to get in touch with your inner vixen in those few blissful moments between waking up, and realizing that a tweet might start World War III. Here are a few sex toys that can help you take advantage of that very precious time.
This is a multi-purpose vibrator if ever there was one. Its oversized head is perfect for G-spot or clitoral stimulation, and it has multiple speed levels. The Mood Frisky is waterproof, so you can wistfully fantasize about a world where the President doesn’t misspell the word “tap” in the shower, bath, or bed. Thanks to modern technology, you can even order this wondrous little friend from Amazon, so your neighbours never need to know why you’re so chipper first thing in the morning.
The Nirvana 350 is perfect for those who want it all. It’s made with super soft silicone and is waterproof. This makes it perfect for use anywhere, and makes it incredibly easy to clean. It’s designed to maximize G-spot, clitoral and anal stimulation, and does it ever take its job seriously. Way more seriously than a President who seems to golf more than he works. Adjust the branches, set the speed, and whisk yourself away to a place where politics are a distant dream (but not Mar-a-Lago; you wouldn’t want to get fantasy-food poisoning).
Le Reve is a very sleek three speed clitoral vibrator.It’s perfect for use on its own, with a dildo, or during sex. It’s small and discreet, making it easy to hide from pets or children. The name means “the Dream”, and it isn’t hard to tell why. This sleek vibrator can invoke a dream like state, where maybe, just maybe, Hillary won and Planned Parenthood gets to keep its funding.
If you’re of a certain age, you probably remember The Rabbit from its guest starring role in an episode of Sex and the City. The Rabbit is a vibrator designed for simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Most models have a rotating shaft or pulsating head along with a vibrating appendage aimed at clitoral stimulation. Between you and me, a Rabbit is the perfect way to have a mind numbing orgasm. They are best reserved for blocking out those lingering fears of the future.
The Bullet comes in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colours, so Trump probably hates it. It is also capable of bring indescribable joy to your life, so Pence is also probably staunchly against it. These toys are inexpensive and perfect at clitoral stimulation, with or without a partner.
Help a Siren out! What is your favourite way to unwind, destress, and get off after a long week of incredibly depressing news? Sound off in the comments!
Ashley is a freelance writer and office manager, who enjoys reading, crafting, and archery. She collects comic books, stationary, and empty journals that for some reason never see a pen. Ashley spends her free time enjoying bright lights in the dark, counting down the months until new Doctor Who, and watching Daily Show alumni on late night TV