We get it – break ups suck. Even when they’re objectively “for the best” they’re still objectively the worst. Sometimes, it’s easy to move on from the break up. Maybe your ex was an absolute jerk or cheated on you or treated you like garbage. But other break ups hurt a lot more. Those lonely nights, when Facebook reminds you of how happy you both were together, may tempt you to pick up your phone. You know that sending that message or making that call is a terrible life choice, but it is so hard to resist.
We’ve all been there, and now we’re here to help. Obviously we can’t make the pain go away (or we would, I promise) but there are a few things you can do to keep yourself away from your phone. If you really wan t to avoid calling your ex, make yourself a deal: follow each and every one of these recommendations. If, at the end of this list, you still want to call your ex, take the advice of Ellen and Michelle Obama:
Seriously though, it can be hard to keep yourself away. Here are a few simple things you can do to avoid calling your ex.
1. Write A Letter To Your Representative
You can’t call your ex if you are typing or penning a letter to your local representative. Not about your current situation, of course, but about literally any other issue that concerns you right now. There are a LOT from which to choose. Are you gonna miss Big Bird? Write about that. Upset that your grandma two states over is going to struggle for food and companionship? Write about that. Honestly, there is a lot to be angry about and a lot you can do. Writing your representative is a great start. This applies to non-Americans too. No country is perfect. We all have our problems. Pick an issue that matters to you and convince your local rep to care about it too.
2. Buy A Samsung Galaxy Note 7
You can’t call your ex if your phone is toast.
3. Go For A Walk
There is nothing more soothing than a nice relaxing walk. So pick a nice day, pack up a few distractions and some water, and head out for a walk. Then keep walking. Walk a little further. Are you out of cell phone range? Yes? Then you’ve gone far enough. Pull out your distractions and stay put until it becomes dangerous or the will to call has passed.
4. Watch A Lin-Manuel Miranda Interview
In all honesty this might not be a huge preventative measure, but by this point you deserve to smile about something. And nothing on Earth brings more smiles than Lin-Manuel Miranda.
5. Take A Long, Long Bath
Take a nice, long bath (sex toy optional). You will feel better afterwards. And, as an added benefit, you can’t call your ex with prune-like, wet fingers.
6. Learn All The Lyrics To Hamilton
Learn all the lyrics to each role in Hamilton. Then, research and write your own broadway smash hit musical based off of the life of another figure from human history. And Peggy.
7. Read A Book
Find a nice cozy space. Pour yourself a warm beverage and curl up with your favorite book. Then read another. Then another. Keep reading until you have absorbed all human knowledge and realize that true love is merely a social construct.
8. Learn To Code
Learn to code and create an app you can install on all your devices. The purpose of this app? To remove the ability for anything you own to play any song ever written or sung by Adele. Look, I love Adele as much as the next gal, but really, if you’re resisting the temptation to “call a thousand times”, perhaps it’s best not to let Adele provide any encouragement.
9. Write An Article About Not Calling Your Ex
There are worst ways to distract yourself. And writing is a fantastic outlet. You might even enjoy it.
10. Contact Your Representatives Again
Some time has probably passed since you last wrote or called your local representatives. If you’ve seriously gone through this entire list, you definitely have time to give them another call.